If actions speak louder than words, Jennifer Lopez is screaming to the world
that she's not who you think she is. Now she's ready for you to get to know
the side of her that's really her-and that no one's seen before. By Jenny Eliscu

You know how some days, after a long week of
being "on" at school and at parties with your friends, you
just want to be alone in your room with your music, where you
can let go and truly be yourself? Well, that's where Jennifer
Lopez is right now. After years of hitting the clubs with Diddy,
strutting the red carpets with Ben, and making headlines for
everything from her hot videos to her not-always-hot movies,
Jennifer Lopez is ready to ditch her party-girl persona,
slip into a pair of sweats, cuddle up on the couch with her
husband, Marc Anthony, and be real.

And as the title of her new album, Rebirth, indicates,
she's starting over. For the first time in her life, the singeractress-
dancer-entrepreneur isn't reinventing herself: She's
come full circle, back to the person she was before fame
and scrutiny from strangers ever entered the picture.

See, Jennifer Lopez has always been a dreamer, a hard
worker, and an achiever. And deep inside, she's still the
girl who grew up taking comfort in everyday moments:
stuff like hanging out with one best friend, going to track
practice, and trading secrets with her sisters.

But after all the fame and mayhem made her seem larger
than life, the 35-year-old, who will hit the big screen in Monsterin-
Law this May, has ultimately realized that she doesn't
have to prove anything to anyone. So she's returned to that
real girl who goes by her real name-not J.Lo or Jenny From
the Block. She married a fellow Latino, who keeps it real
with the cultural background she takes so much pride in.
And while she doesn't get to see her sisters as much as
she'd like to, family is still the dearest thing to her heart.

Lounging backstage at MTV's TRL, Jennifer reveals the
side of her the tabloids always overlook-the softer, more
spiritual side. And while she may be returning to her roots,
she's picked up a key lesson along her bumpy journey. "We all
make mistakes," she says. "The key is to learn from them."

CosmoGIRL!: How was making your new record,
Rebirth, different from making the previous ones?
Jennifer Lopez: I was in a different place and much more
focused. This time, I was really specific about what I wanted
to be doing. I only recorded 11 or 12 songs, and that was
it. I decided to call the album Rebirth because I'd taken a
long six-month vacation-it was my first in years-and at
the end I was ready to go back into the studio and start
over. I just felt like it was a new day.

CG!: The songs are a lot different from what we
expected. There's stuff on there that sounds very
moody. What vibe were you looking for?
JL: I was looking for a fresh sound-me, but with more of
a funk element, more horns, more heavy drums. You know,
the kind of stuff that really gets to your bones when you hear
it, like an old James Brown record. James Brown obviously
wasn't my era, but my parents listened
to him. The thread that holds everything
together is that all of the songs
have some kind of nostalgia.

CG!: We love the song and video
you recorded with Fat Joe, "Hold
You Down." Are the lyrics really
about your friendship with him?
JL: Yeah, we go way back. He was on
my first album, and that's when we
really hooked up. That was back when
everybody thought, Oh, she's just an
actress who wants to make a record.
But Fat Joe got down with me purely
because I was Puerto Rican and from
the Bronx. Just to rep for Latinos. Our
relationship has grown over the years
and we've become like familia-real family. If he calls me
and needs my help, I'll do it if I can, and same way with
him. So the song is like a love song, but it's our friendship
song. It's about what we really mean to each other. That's
why that song is so special, of all the songs on the album.

CG!: That's sweet! Do you have any girlfriends
who are close to you like that?
JL: Absolutely! My sisters, Lynda and Leslie, and I are
very close, although we don't see each other as much as
we'd like. My best friend is someone I've known since the
second grade, and she's actually traveling with me now. In
this business, because you travel so much and your life is
so abnormal, you have to have friends who are down for
you like that. There's no routine, there's no chance to see
your friends or hang out all the time, so you need to rely
on people who are okay with you even if you haven't
called them in three weeks-or three months! That's sometimes
what it gets like in this business. It can get really lonely
when you're out on the road all the time working in this
grind. You have to have people who you know will always be
there for you no matter what.

CG!: If somebody told you that you had to choose
to be only one thing-an actress or a singer or a
dancer-for the rest of your life…
JL: I'd be like, "Why?!"

CG!: But could you choose?
JL: I don't think I could. I'd be miserable. All of the
things I do come from this need I have to be creative, and
I just try to do the things that make me happy and help
me grow. It's not something you're choosing to do: It's
something you have to do, want to do, and really need to
get better at all the time. And that's how I feel about singing
and acting and creating fashion and everything I do.
It just lives inside me.

CG!: Are there other ways-besides music-that
you get stuff off your chest, like keeping a journal?
What do you do when you're having a terrible day?
JL: Shop! No, actually, when things are really crazy, I
like to shut down. I don't keep a journal. Maybe I should
though. I've wanted to so many times, but I never could.
With me, downtime is about really tr ying to relax. Stopping
this machine that goes nonstop all the time [points to her
head] and just relax. That is honestly one of the hardest
things for me to do. You know how people can just be in
their house and chill? I can't seem to do that. I'm always
thinking about a million things I want to be doing.

CG!: Who are your role models?
JL: The women in my family are all ver y strong. Our family
is very matriarchal. The women run stuff. I had a lot of
great role models who were working women, especially my
mom and my aunts and my grandma. One of the things
they taught all of us-because there are a ton of girls in
my family, no boys-was just to be independent and stand
on our own. Don't be one of those people who's like, "Oh,
I'm going to be with this person and they're going to take
care of everything." My mother was like, "Never depend on
anyone. Be self-sufficient because you can do whatever you
want to do." It was very motivational. And now, I can live on
my own, stand on my own. I don't need anyone to help me
live. I am an independent woman in that sense.

CG!: So what were you like as a teenager?
JL: I was kind of the same as I am now! I was very
focused on dance class and sports. I wasn't a big hangerouter.
I had my one girlfriend who always came over, or I
went to her house. We always had something going on.
I was very into tennis and track and field, and I'd go to
practice every day and to the meets on the weekend.

CG!: Since then you've had a lot of experience with
the kind of gossipy mean girls who are in every
high school. How can girls deal with that?
JL: People's words affect you only as much as you let
them. You know who you are. Focus on that. Other people
will see that eventually. That's how I operate. People write
things, say things, and they can be cruel and mean and
just plain lie. Straight lie. I can't go out there and say,
"They're lying, they're lying, please believe that they're
lying!" every time it happens. But I have to believe in my
heart-and this is what keeps me sane-that at the end
of the day, my real personality is going to come through. I
want people to see who I really am. My actions are going
to speak for themselves. My work is going to speak for
itself. My intentions are going to speak for themselves. So
I don't let their words affect me, even though they can hurt
sometimes. I refuse to let somebody else's negativity have
a part in the way I feel about my life. --- END

DEAR JENNIFER;
In the spirit of CG! sisterhood, Jennifer
answers your questions about getting over
regrets-and getting a great body!

Q: The girls and guys at my school make fun of
me because I'm overweight. I'm miserable. Do
you have advice that might help me deal?
-Chelsea, 16
Jennifer Lopez: Be yourself. Everyone goes
through times when they're picked on or teased,
myself included. But the good news is, you grow
up! If it gets to be too much, ask your parents or
an adult you can confi de in for guidance.

Q: Do you ever pray, and what for?
-Cecily, 16
JL: Yes, I pray. All the time. I pray for peace
and guidance, and to always keep my feet on
the ground and be a good person. Those are the
things I always want to keep sight of because
of the way my life is. Most of the time when I
pray, I'm just lying down in bed. But sometimes
I'll kneel. Sometimes, when you need it more,
you have to.

Q: You have the most perfect body! Do you pig
out, or do you always eat right and exercise?
-Isabel, 17
JL: Thanks for the compliment, but I don't have
the most perfect body. No one does. But I'm
happy with the way I look. I do pig out sometimes,
but mostly I try to eat right. And yes, I
work out-a lot!

Q: What is your biggest regret?
-Johanna, 17
JL: I don't regret anything I've done. I believe that
everything happens for a reason. Anything that's
happened to me, good or bad, has made me a stronger,
smarter woman today.